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Current Issue of BDINews
Caring for the High Maintenance Child
By Kate Andersen.

Child who threatens/guilts.
May, 2018.
Dear Kate:
I am writing because of my relatives. They are two-faced. Or at least one of them is. My mother-in-law is .......
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A Newsletter About Caring for the High Maintenance Child

by Kate Andersen, M.Ed.
 
Issue Theme: The child who threatens or guilts parents
Volume 20, Issue 9, May, 2018.


Letter to Kate
by Kate Andersen, M.Ed.

Dear Kate,

My problem is not my child. Yes, he is 'spirited', 'high maintenance', and more. He has all the challenging temperament traits plus obsessive-compulsive tendencies, asthma, and bed-wetting. He is only nine years old and my heart breaks to see him suffer so. Especially since I had asthma and bed-wetting in childhood, too, and know the pain it causes.

I am writing because of my relatives. They are two-faced. Or at least one of them is. My mother-in-law is sweet and sugary when we visit and then I hear later that after we leave she expresses her disapproval and thinks I need treatment for the way I 'coddle' my son. My husband says she is jealous because before Jake was born I used to cater to her a lot and take her out shopping and listen to her tales of woe. Now I cannot give her that kind of attention. And she resents it.

She does things like 'forget' that Jakie cannot eat anything with dairy product in it. She makes desserts with dairy and puts them on the table. His eyes nearly pop out of his head and then he cries those same eyes out when he is not allowed to eat any of it. She even challenges me on this rule. "Surely a little won't hurt him." Once she gave him something with dairy when I was not around and he had no reaction. Her proof that I am neurotic.

I am honestly confused by what is going on.

Do you have any ideas at all?

Ready to Run Away

 
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